I know many of you have heard these terms before, but I thought I would share some information about this since many of you have seen Maggie display these anxieties.
We'll have to start with a little social/emotional development information... the most important learning an infant does in the first 0-6 months is learning how to meet their own physical needs (how to eat, how to calm themselves, how to eliminate waste, how to fall asleep, etc.) and forming attachments with a primary caregiver (most often their parents). Responsive care giving, or responding to a baby's cues so that the baby begins to learn that their needs are being met, is the first way to start building attachment. When a baby realizes that there are consistent people who continually meet their needs, they begin to attach to those people. This social/emotional foundation encourages growth and learning in all areas of future development.
Some babies begin to depend (as they should) on these important people who meet their needs. Some even become upset or anxious when removed from their "important people." To them this may mean that their "safe" person isn't right there with them, and their needs may not be met. This is generally something that develops later in infancy, usually around 8 months of age, when the infant can cognitively process differences between familiar and unfamiliar people and situations. Maggie just happens to be a bit ahead of the game. Quite cognitively advanced I might add.
So how do you respond?? Simply by continuing that responsive care giving and respecting her needs. At one time, it was believed that babies were empty vessels--that they didn't process stimuli/information, that they couldn't communicate, etc. We now know this is completely ridiculous. Babies are born communicating, and with the right responses, and attempts to understand their communication, this communication becomes more refined. When Maggie cries when someone that isn't mom, dad, or another close person holds her she is letting that person know that she feels a little unsafe right now, and would like to be with one of her familiar people (she wants to ensure that her needs will be met). This doesn't mean that she wouldn't enjoy playing next to that person on the floor, or smiling at them while she's in mom's lap, etc. Maggie is also very purposefully reaching or turning away from someone to let them know if she wants or does not want to be held. When others listen to her gestural commands, she begins to understand that these people listen to her too, and this begins to make her feel safe with them as well.
I know this can be difficult for others, when they see how adorable she is, and just want to pick her up and give her kisses all over like I constantly have the urge to do, but please join me in respecting Maggie's already advanced forms of communication. Talk to Maggie when you first see her. Let her warm up a bit, and play near you before being taken by you. Hold out your hands and let her "tell you" if she would like to be held by you or not. This has become quite the fun game with Auntie Sara. Although she's usually very comfortable with Sara, she'll often smile and turn her head away letting her know "not right now." Within the next few minutes though she's reaching for her, as she will with many of you!
Here's one of Maggie's favorite people---daddy of course, getting her way to excited before bed time, he's soooo funny though!
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