There are many, many things I've learned in parenthood. There are things I was good at right away, and things I really had to work at, still have to work at. As Maggie and I sat down to dinner tonight I was thinking that Zac and I really got it right when it comes to food with Magnolia. We honestly LOVE our family meals---all of us. Of course we all love to eat, but we love being together, being silly, and sharing the stories of our day with each other too. I know many families struggle with toddlers and food. There is usually at least one goal addressing mealtimes and eating with every family I work with. Food is almost always a topic of interest among my fellow mommy-friends, so I thought I'd share a little bit about how we've gone about food with a toddler.
First off, I can't say I came into this without a lot of fantastic information. One of my fabulous mentors, and advisers throughout my early childhood studies, Janice Fletcher, specialized in "Feeding Young Children." I actually took a course entitled, "Feeding Young Children" in college. Janice ingrained in myself, and her other students, some basic principals about feeding young children. Zac and I knew right away that we would follow these principals as a family.
These principals are:
- Adults should eat with children
- Adults choose what is served
- Children decide how much they will eat
- Adults set the feeding environment
- Children should serve themselves
- Children need a variety of foods
Zac and I have absolutely NEVER told Maggie that she has to eat something. We always talk about the foods we give her though---what they taste like, how they feel, what it looks like. We eat those foods too, and talk about them. Not in a manipulative, "Yumm, yum this is so good, you are completely missing out" kind of way, but we definitely share with her when we really like a food. We always model eating new foods with Magnolia, and let her feel comfortable with exploring and trying new foods in her own way. Chris really taught me a lot about how much of a complete process eating is for children. That it literally requires a child get down and dirty, and often without eating a single bite of food.
Knowing that Maggie gets to choose what and how much she eats is a huge relief to us. We don't have to freak out about making her try foods, or eat this many bites of this, or all those other meal time battles. We simply choose a variety (types, colors, textures) of foods that we feel is healthy and best for our family for each of our mealtimes, and she does the rest.
She gets to create her own relationship with food.
Recently we've discovered that Maggie's tastes preferences can be quite different from our own. Magnolia absolutely loves to dip her toast in her juice. This completely repulses Zac. He of course is making comments about her becoming an "ultimate eating champion," but still we let it go. We would never want someone commenting to us about what we like to eat being gross, so we in turn respect what our daughter chooses to eat.
Magnolia has also recently discovered those delicious sugar packed foods as of recently---cookies, cake, frozen yogurt (TCBY to be exact), etc. Zac and I try not to make too big a deal out of these foods at all, if we make the choice that they are served. We actually serve these things WITH dinner if we decide that they will be an option. I know, you are probably thinking we are crazy right? The thing is though, that Magnolia, although she likes these foods, likes her other food just as much. Tonight I watched her take a bite of her cookie, sit it aside, and then dig into her broccoli and tofu until it was gone. To her, if I said we are having say a grilled hummus sandwich with cheese, she would be bouncing up and down with joy. We've made sweets no big deal, but WE choose what's served, and we certainly don't choose to serve them often.
I loved the photo above that Zac posted of Moo eating. We still watch her eat sometimes and think "Wow, she LOVES food." And especially from a little girl who when she first started to eat as an infant would feel pain.
I can't say that meals are always going to be easy with Maggie, but I can definitely say we are proud and comfortable with everything we've done, and that she's done concerning food so far.
