Well, here we go again.

As I assumed Maggie cannot tolerate the hydrolyzed milk proteins (the 2 ounces of formula she tried), as was evident in yet another bloody stool this morning. It's been very consistent that the blood shows up exactly four days after the introduction of the allergen. I've been doing more and more research, frantically, to try to get this figured out before this turns into something worse. When I say something worse, I mean potential food refusal in the future, failure to thrive, or worse case scenario a tummy tube some day. Some might think I'm exaggerating a bit, but I can assure you that this is happening to children with Maggie's allergy--they are enrolled in the program I work for!! We've got an appointment with Dr. Ally again tomorrow. I'm flat out demanding a referral to a pediatric gastroenteroligist. I've know things weren't going well for a long time, and I haven't' felt very validated in my concerns and observations. I'm going to do everything I can now to get this under control. Maggie's felt too yucky for too long, Zac and I have been unbelievably stressed, and I've missed so much work, it's not even funny. It's actually kind of a good thing we were required to take 24 hours of furlow--I've gone through almost all of it already. So here we go...I'm sorry I haven't had a lot of really positive updates lately, but I guess it's good for those of you who love and care about Maggie to know the reality of her situation right now. Once again, please wish us luck!

For your reading pleasure here's an article written by a mother in Boise who's daughter has the same allergy as Maggie. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21103719/from/ET/

Maggie's Stocking

Zac's stocking, Maggie's stocking and Melissa's stocking

Today Auntie Sara helped Maggie practice gentle touches with Boston---Boston also practices gentle touches with Maggie!

You know what's great? Having a mother-in-law that can quilt and sew! Zac and I had bought holiday stockings in Anacortes, WA when we were on our honeymoon---they're made of old quilts, and I absolutely love them. I was a little sad that Maggie wouldn't have a matching one, but then I thought I'd see if Monica might be able to make one. Sure enough, she agreed. She even purchased an antique baby quilt for the project, and Maggie's stocking turned out perfect! Now all our stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Much Better, Except...

I'm happy to report that since Sunday, Maggie has been doing much better during breast feeding. All of our breast feedings have been successful since Saturday evening--thank goodness! But of course, with us, there's always something else... Maggie had finally decided to try 2 ounces of the Nutramagin formula on Saturday afternoon, and within 12 hours she was having brown, mucousy/foamy stools. Within 24 hours she was extremely fussy and gassy. This morning her mood seems to be much better, but she still has some bad gas. So, needless to say, I'm going to make the assumption that Maggie can't tolerate hydrolyzed milk protein---here goes another three weeks of working an allergen out of her body!

Maggie's teacher Chris, raised 2 children with food allergies. She breastfed them as well--which I've quickly discovered is pretty rare. She's been a huge support to me, and it's been so nice to know someone who's gone through this as well. She's been giving us lots of information and ideas to help us get this all figured out, and she's been giving Maggie lots and lots of TLC as she keeps having to work these allergens out of her body. Chris keeps reminding me that we are just getting to know what Maggie can and can't handle in each of these situations, and that Maggie's always letting us know what's going on, and we shouldn't take her cues for granted.

When Maggie's six months old we are going to do the RAST test (allergy testing that's completed with a blood sample). I'm going to request we test for all major allergens. This test isn' t always very conclusive with young infants, but it's are only option, so we'll see.

We'll keep everyone posted.

The Sob Story/Updated Pictures

Since I haven't posted pictures for awhile--here's a few to let you know what Maggie's been up to!

Busy helping Daddy do some work--although now she doesn't like to observe much, she wants to help! (Gosh, apparently Zac wears this outfit a lot!)

Same with her bath.."Actually Mommy, I'll hold that and rinse my own body!"

Here's Maggie mid rolling. It's funny, some days she's rolling all the time, other days she's content to just hang out.

Sorry about the quick post last time. I've been really busy, and to be honest I haven't wanted to really discuss our current feeding situation--it's making me just a little bit crazy!! Well, as many of you probably gathered from the last post, Maggie is definitely allergic to soy as well. I had introduced the meal with soy on Saturday, and then a few days later had some meals with "traces of soy." On Thursday she had bloody stools again, and started to get fussier. On top of all this we are having a horrible time with breastfeeding. That's putting it mildly too. About 25% of our feedings are successful. The other feedings consist of her not staying latched on long enough to get anything, me not letting down, and then before you know it, we're both anger balls. I think this is a combination of a lot of things, her getting more used to the bottle, the fact that we introduced another allergen to her again, her cognitive spurt (she can't keep her attention on much these days because there is sooo much to explore), me being so stressed about it, etc. The frustrating thing is I haven't been able to pump very much milk either, so Maggie's quickly running out of food, well she's actually out of food, which explains my absence from work the last three days. In an effort to get us back on track, I offered some of the hypoallergenic formula yesterday, so that I could start pumping and getting my milk supply back on track. And guess what...she hates it! I don't blame her either, the stuff smells horrible!! I've talked to her doctor, and we are going to try a few things, such as mixing the formula with a little breast milk (if I can get any), and see if she'll take it at all while we are trying to get breastfeeding back on track--I guess we'll just wait and see.

I know a big part of this is me being able to calm down and relax, but as I've told almost everyone who mentions this to me--this is much easier said than done. One of my favorite things is now one of the hardest, most challenging, frustrating things, that I've continually fought to keep doing. In my self pity, I just keep asking why with all the food I've given up, the time I've spent pumping, all the driving across town to feed her, etc., why can't one thing go right?? Just my luck I guess. So I guess I'm going to request some wishes for luck sent our way about now--we need it.

Lesson Learned

NO SOY!

The Straight Jacket

Ahh, the lovely straight jacket/swaddle--this has been a two hour nap so far!

Maggie and her friends.

A little leaf nap.

I think this was Maggie's favorite field trip so far!

She loves these ribbons at school, as you can see her toes are helping her to get them as well.

Maggie has had an amazing week!! Still no teeth though, so apparently that wasn't the cause of her frustration last week. She's still chewing on everything though, and drooling a lot. I think one of the reasons she's been so happy this week is that she's finally on a sleep schedule. She had always slept through the night consistently, but her naps always varied. This week she's been taking 1-2 hour naps in the morning and afternoon. She is waking up in the middle of the night now--only once though. I've usually been up anyways since I've been rea ding the Twilight Saga books thro ugh the night f or the last t wo days (sorry about the the spaces in the text Maggie has decided to help me type a bit!). So needless to say Maggie is well rested, Mommy is not.

We've found the secret of getting her to stay asleep is actually using her swaddle. Chris had been using it at school a bit and was noticing it was really helping Maggie settle down, fall asleep, and most importantly stay asleep longer than 20-30 minutes. So, we decided to try it at home, and now were addicted.

Well since she's had such a great week we introduced a little soy back into my diet today--I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach worrying about the results, but I'm trying to stay positive. We decided if I had to do it, I might as well eat something good--unhealthy too. We opted for Burger King. Mainly because it was the only fast food place that I could get a chicken sandwich that didn't have dairy in it as well. I know, most people don't realize that almost everything has dairy in it, soy too for that matter. Anyways, we should know in 6-12 hours if she's allergic--we'll see loose mucousy stools (not so easy to differentiate on a breastfed baby I might add), fussiness, and possibly blood again in her stools as well.

Play Time!!!

Yes, Maggie is in seventh heaven, Maggie could not stop giggling, it is another world to explore!!!
(Quote from Chris)

I want all my toys, but I don't know quite what to do with them, and my chewy ring keeps getting stuck on my arm!


Uh-oh, Daddy's coming in for a kiss!

He's getting closer...

So funny...Daddy got me!