Monday, February 13, 2012

Here it is...

Let's start with Wednesday:
As many of you saw, Maggie really, really wanted to play hair stylist on Wednesday. This has been an interest frequently (usually after she gets a haircut). I helped her set up a hair saloon in her pink room. She asked me a few times if she could cut my hair, I reminded her that we can't ever cut "people hair" but we can pretend (we usually use her play dough scissors). After playing hair stylist for awhile she brought out school baby and told me "school baby is just a doll, can I cut some of her hair?" I debated, a lot, which is probably why I decided to post it for Wordless Wednesday, it was kind of a big decision. After I decided it was just a doll, her doll, and her choice, we talked AGAIN about how we can NEVER cut people hair, and she said, "MOMMY! I know, I know!" She cut a few little pieces of school baby's hair, said it was hard, and wanted to just brush it again. I put her scissors back with her art supplies.
Fast-forward to dinner time (my incredibly crazy time, especially on Wednesdays when Zac works late). I'm trying to get dinner ready, and chase River around. Maggie's in her pink room playing. I realize I need to change River's diaper so I peek in at Maggie and tell her I'm going upstairs to change her brother's diaper. She says "okay."
I get done changing River and I hear Maggie yell for me. I come downstairs and hear her shout "Mommy, come look at my hair!" And I knew...
I walk into her pink room and her scissors are back out, and she's covering her head with her hands. My reaction...I sort of feel like I'm hyperventilating, especially when I look at all the hair on the ground, then I start crying. She keeps saying "I'm little, I just don't know a lot of things yet Mommy!" The thing is though, that she did know it wasn't okay...she just didn't have the impulse control not to do it.
So now, I'm hysterically crying. I'm crying because this is my fault, because her hair is a SERIOUS disaster, and I'm mad at myself for responding this way. I called Zac, he didn't answer, I call Sara. Through my tears I got out that she cut her hair, a lot, and that I needed her to talk to her because I couldn't get control of myself and I didn't want to scare her. Sara talked to her, probably saying all the right things that I couldn't at that moment.
After awhile I was somewhat able to control the tears, and we talked for a bit. She told me that Aunt Sara said she'd have to have someone fix her hair. I told her that Aunt Sara was right, and we'd go after dinner and have someone look at it. She looked really sad. I apologized for getting so sad too, and she told me "I just really miss Isabelle," avoiding any potential discussion of her hair---I left it alone.
When Zac got home we decided to head to the mall and see if we could have a hair stylist look at it.
Zac of course is wondering why I'm upset about this, because it happens all the time, and hair grows back...how I wish I could have responded like him.
We go to the mall and have someone look at it. The hair stylist tries to layer it out, and keeps telling me that she didn't cut much in the back, so that's a good thing. She aks me what I want, and I have no idea. We leave and Zac and I both feel that her hair might even look worse now, let's just say "mullet."
We get home, we're all exhausted. Zac tells me again that this isn't a big deal, she's beautiful, her hair will grow back. I know of course that she's beautiful, but the fact is that like it or not (and I really don't like it) our society has gender social norms. And although I've never, ever pushed those on Maggie, I know how powerful they can be, and I keep running through my head comments from other children, or other adults, and how she'll internalize it. I share this with Zac and he reminds me that I was the one crying as we walked through the mall, Maggie was laughing, skipping, and smiling through the mall...I feel like an ass.

Thursday:
I take Maggie to another hair salon, after spending about an hour in the morning determining if what I have to work with is doable. The ladies at the the salon are so sweet, to me and Maggie. THEY have an idea of exactly how to fix it. They layer it out again, and cut it short in the back. It actually looks like a hairstyle now (well one that isn't a mullet). We walk to the coop get some hair clips made from recycled materials, and some coffee (strawberry steamer for Mags). I'm feeling much better, and Mags seems to be doing great as well.
The long side

The shorter side

The new Mags

And, here's a little peek at the cousin fun-filled weekend. 
So excited! It's snowing outside!!

Friday: As we arrive at school Maggie gets lots of compliments about her hair. Aunt Sara, Baby Cousin, Uncle Brad and Mar-Mar arrive Friday afternoon and the cousins get right to work playing. Sara and Zac love Maggie's hair. Zac calls her "my little hipster." It's growing on me, but overall the little hair mishap is just about forgotten.

4 comments:

Sarah Shaw said...

OH Melissa. I'm trying to compose myself - so much laughing. Really though, Maggie has such a cute face, she would be cute with no hair. And, it could be worse...remember the time my sister-in-law SHAVED my niece's HEAD? Maggie looks very flapper-girl-ish, especially with the big flower. I like it. Stop crying. Zac's right - it will grow back. But, maybe hide the scissors...Boston might end up going to the salon next...

Melissa Crist said...

She had already trimmed up Boston awhile ago...that should have given me a clue.
I did remember Leora and the head shaving incident though! I guess if Leora survived the head shaving, and Maggie survives my irrational response to her cutting her own hair we know that there is some serious resiliency in little girls with hair drama!

growinglikeweeds said...

I love the new do! I practically teared up myself at this post as I know how irrational I would have acted if I found Isabelle with scissors in hand and hair on the floor. And then when I read the I miss isabelle part...well lets just say i needed a tissue. Good thing is that she looks adorable...and isabelle thinks she wants a haircut like maggie's now.

loramay said...

Something about this time of year brings out the preschool self hair cuts. I just had one of my adorable preschoolers come to school this week after her own cutting. It took her parents a few days to get the "fix" cut, so you were really on the ball. I remember shaving a spot in the middle of my bangs. That taught my Mom to never forget her razor in the bath tub, hehehe. She looks adorable as always. I know it is irrational, but I probably will have the same reaction some day.